Divorce is never easy. Regardless of whether you have been married one year or 20 years, the whole divorce process can take its toll on you mentally, physically and emotionally. As hard as it might be for you, it is just as hard for the children involved. They feel the same stress, frustration and confusion as you do. You want to make sure that the children are taken care of as much as possible through this whole ordeal. To make sure your children aren't put in the middle of the whole ordeal, here are a few tips you can follow to help them cope with the divorce.
Make sure the children know that your divorce has nothing to do with them. Oftentimes, children end up thinking they are the ones to blame. They feel they did something wrong. This is especially true for older children. Talk to them. Discuss their concerns and reassure them that your divorce is nothing they caused. Just tell them that the two of you aren't getting along and it is best to be apart.
Refrain from talking about the divorce in front of the children.
Whatever you do, don't sit there and talk about the divorce or your ex when the children are present. You don't want them to think badly of the other party, regardless of what might have caused the divorce in the first place. They are still their parent and you want the children to respect them and love them just the same. Keep your feelings out of the conversation. If you need to talk, spend time with a friend or a counselor who can help you get through it.
Just because you might not be a team in the same home any longer doesn't mean you shouldn't still work like a team in your own homes. Be consistent with the children's punishment, rewards and privileges. This will ensure everything runs smoothly and the children's routine doesn't get messed up in the process. Consistency is key, especially in the case of younger children who might not understand what is going on.
By following the three tips above, you can make sure the children are able to cope with the whole divorce and come out of it as unscathed as possible. It will take time to heal, but everyone will be better for it in the long run when you follow these few tips. Contact a divorce attorney like Kolker Law Offices PC for more information.